This is how to build self confidence

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله تعالى وبركاته

Everyday millions of people try to become more confident by acquiring fame, power, money and popularity but in the end most of them never make any progress and end up feeling the same.

Most of those people were told to repeat affirmations, think positively or to believe in themselves but in the end they find themselves feelings worse after doing these advice.

The reason most people fail to become confident is that they spend their lives trying to build self confidence the wrong way while in fact there is only one way to do it correctly.

Building self confidence the wrong way

It is impossible to build self confidence through fame, popularity, number of friends or the amount of money you collect, because after all If a person believes that he is not that worthy then most probably he will discount his achievements,attribute them to coincidence and will never give them any high weight.

Just like a depressed person only sees negative events and overlooks positive ones, a person who has false beliefs about his self worth overlooks any achievements that might proof his false beliefs wrong.

If a guy or a girl believed that they are not attractive then received a smile from a member of the other sex then they will quickly attribute this smile to the politeness or kindness of the person rather than to their attractiveness.

In short, settings goals and achieving them will never let you feel confident if you weren't already feeling confident!!

On the other hand, a person who believes that he is worthy will only remember the things that supports his beliefs about himself and he will discard any other evidence.

That's why confident people never feel bad after rejection, simply because they forget about it and discard it quickly while those who lack self confidence consider the rejection to be another
proof for their lack of self worth.

The right way to build self confidence
Self confidence is nothing more than the set of beliefs you have about yourself and your own self worth.

These beliefs were formed as a result of your past experience.
Let me give you an example that would make this clear, Most likely the first time you started playing soccer or any other sport you were afraid or not sure of your abilities at the beginning but as you progressed through training and as you mastered the sport you became confident in your ability to play that sport.

If you don't play any sports then just remember the first time you were learning how to use a computer. Weren't you afraid? weren't you unsure of your abilities?
but what happened now? you became confident in your ability to operate a computer and to browse the internet.

So the belief was built as a result of your past experience with computers and the same thing exactly happened to your other beliefs about yourself

if you believe that you are incompetent, worthless, not attractive or uninteresting then know that these beliefs were acquired as a result of the situations you have been through in your past.

And there 2 pieces of good news in here:

No one was born with false beliefs, there are no genes responsible for lack of self confidence!!
Anyone can fix these false beliefs and become confident